This past week has been HAZY. That is Hecka and Crazy combined. I am looking for a clean house and a good book to curl up with. I think I’ll finish "Persuasion" this week. The kids are loving school Thing 1 esp. We are having fun recapping the day. Man I love songs they teach in Kindergarten. And he is totally the singer! I will have to recap later. That clean house is calling me:)
Sunday evening our friend Lee went to the hospital with a stomach ache. It was bad enough for him to get seen. And he was in a lot of pain by the evening. I got a call at 3:45 am Monday night saying they admitted him to the intensive care unit. He was completely sedated when his wife arrived. His heart rate was racing. He wasn’t doing good. They called it Pancreatitis, and he had a lot of fluid in stomach which stressed his lungs and heart.
She arrived home around 7:45-8 am and with in minutes of being there she got the call he had coded. They were doing CPR still when she arrived. They continued CPR for 45 minutes. They brought him back but didn’t expect him to last the day. Around 1pm he coded again and he didn’t make it.
He gave us some great memories. And some really fun times. Thanks Lee for all the dinners, imprompt to BBQs where you cooked for us. For not shunning us based on our Rockband skillz. Thanks for being our friend and neighbor. You really are a great friend and we’ll miss you.
1981-2008
I have been a little worried about the long three hours she is gone. What is she doing? Is she having fun? But this week we had them all come home with Fire Ranger hats. Thing 2 says their her "Power Ranger" hats.
I love that they gave The fish and Thing 1 a hat as well.
I can’t believe this summer is almost over! Only three more weeks left and everyone is back in school. Thing 2 has been in love with pre-school since it started. She is always waking up early and telling me it is time to go. I am so thrilled she loves it because it is making Thing 1 totally crazy with envy! Thing 1 is dying to get himself to his "big boy" school. We were so worried about him picking up on the "desire" part but things couldn’t have worked out better for him. Thing 2 will be getting two years of preschool prior to her entering kindergarten. Hopefully she’ll still be thrilled with it throughout that time. I am considering going back to school for the mornings while they are at school. We’ll see but I JUST WANT TO FINISH!
This weekend was a total bust. #1 I started throwing up on Sat evening. Didn’t stop chucking until Sunday evening. The Band had the "cha-Cha-CHA" with the barfs. All three children were fine. I can’t even tell you how much cleaning I have ahead of me today. "Supervised" playtime is a good thing. Our downstairs looks as though their was a toy bomb set off in our house. Everything has a film of stickyness I don’t even want to start cleaning. Thank goodness for friends who come and visit. I will have the motive to sanitize everything before tomorrow evening!
Ok it is a whopping 107 this week on average! I live in the center of Hell? No I just live in a very hot place. So I was talking with one of my girlfriends. We’ll call her Val.
Val gal is keeping cool by "using pools". Here is how her scheme goes down.
THE BAIT
There are a good portion of old people in Val’s church group. They happen to have all their children gone and grown. Val brings up to them durring a hall chat about how hot it is and how her three children love to swim. This almost always triggers an invitaition from these wonderful folks who love to "offer" their useless pool to those in need durring the summer. Now I have had the offer given and it is almost always a "known" you don’t take up on said offer. Only she DOES! Now she has the Kelley’s on Monday, Weston’s on tuesdays, the Johnson’s pool available on Wednesdays and Fridays, and even her neigbor named Jerry is in on the action! Pool owners are glad the pool is getting some use. And Val and her kids are keeping really cool. Val just added some of her husband’s work friends who offered at a work party. I am savy now for next year. I can buy a new summer wardrobe with the money I’ll save on my season pass to the public pool. And I won’t have to swim near great uncle Ned who thinks his "eurpopean" banana hammock is the new rage this summer!
Val and I are also going to a secret undisclosed location to escape children and husband’s for a while. Details on that adventure comming soon!
I think it is all over blog land. Selling buying and MOVING. I am not But for those of you who are go here to find out why your move maybe pretty easy. You may have to ready the first couple posts. So when you think that it may be bad….Think again.
I love my bedroom when it is clean and right now it is awesome. I just have to run the vacume and it will sparkle. That is not probably going to last too long since we are sick this week. It started with the weakest immune system child thing 2. Then it hit me. then it went to the Fish. It is so rare that Thing 1 gets anything. So of all of us he is most miserable because it is simply GORGIOUS outside. It is the weather change thing I am sure.
This past couple of weeks have been a total whirlwind of change. (updates in the next several posts)
The business is going great right now. The details now can be found…… HERE….. I am going to keep this bloggy a strictly "Mommy blog" or "place to vent" or "update central for my friends and family" Or what ever this blog has turned into. Random is what I would call it.
One of my favorite words is Amazing. I am pretty sure it is one of those words I say as a filler word. I have those tendencies to use some pretty wonky filler words. One is "you know what I mean" or "does that make sense". I am pretty scattered in my sentence structure sometimes I know this about myself and so I will make sure someone is picking up what I am laying down by checking in with my communication reception. I used to do this one a lot. Now I have caught myself and tried to stop myself from saying it so much.
Another random thought that comes to mind when I think of A is astronaut. I was in first grade when the challenger blew up.
I used to have a friend in high school that his nick name was "Akintubby" he was a nice guy. Man we had some really messed up nick names for kids in our high school. "Gup" "Digger" and a whole mess of them.
I can’t remember if I had a nickname in High School it certainly wasn’t that creative if I did.
Jack Johnson is not only good looking but I would have to say one great song writer. I have some fun memories of listening to him in days gone by.
The scene is huntington beach California on a steamy hot afternoon in early May. I was leaving the tanning salon and riding in the car when "Bubbly Toes" comes on the raido. I have the infamous "duck butt" haircut and I am single. I remember the haze around the street lamps when it was nigth time there. I miss the salty air the beautiful cars that lined the streets and traffic. Oh wait I don’t miss the traffic.
One billion dollars. Besides all debt, new cars and debt for my friends and family.
1. Hair cut and color (By John Edward’s hair dresser)
2. Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer (Yeah I know)
3. Tour every island Nation. With my body amply covered in Fake tan….Umpalumpa style.
4. Purchase a Popular shampoo line.
5. Dyson Vacume Cleaner for my new maid.
6. A Steam locomotive for my Thing 1
7. A mini Horse for Thing 2. Equipped with a Stable Boy. (The fancy equivalant of Pool Boy)
8. Backpacking store for The Band.
9. A dance studio so I could show off my moves.
I still think i would rent this town house. Hummmmm Yeah we like it here.
It is almost 11pm. I am sitting here and both my children are awake. The fish fell asleep about 15 minutes ago. I am in shock that 2007 is almost gone. like in an hour and fifteen minutes it is gone.
Some of the bloggin buddies I had when I first started bloggin are no longer bloggin. There are those who have just slowed way way way down. And then there is me still writing.
This year came my first major surgery, my third baby, my first business. Boy it has been a busy year.
This year will be the second year of bloggin. What a crazy ride this year has been.
I’m trying to see this move as renewing. A new place a new way of looking at things. I am so excited to meet new people. I am excited to go to a "big city" and beable to shop for things that are only ten minutes away instead of hours away.
The bags aren’t packed but I am ready to go mentally-I think-. You see this is where two of the things came home from the hospital. Where I actually have lived the longest since before the mission. I haven’t lived in one city for so long since I lived with my parents. Oh my how this small town has really grown on me.
I am usually pretty good with a move. This will be the first time it has been actually hard. Hard to say goodbye. Hard to part with the friends and people who have become family.
I’ll be five minutes away from IKEA. I think I’ll find SOMETHING to do. 
I challenged and the challenge was answered. Here is the first "THIS I BELIEVE" not MPR style but bloggy style.
Check out this stellar post!
Thanks EMMA!
The rock and roll lifestyle we are used to is comming to an end. We are planning a move to a larger city. More folks and more adventures await.
MORE important news……
I finished Twilight. Wow is all I have to say. Amazing. I am not sure which I liked more Harry Potter 7 or this wonderfully written amazing book?
Must write more later. Someone has a stinky Bum I am sure.
Laughing at…..
Classes during summer stinks!! But I love what I am taking. My Coping with Difficult People had a section on squelching. Here are some excerpts from the portion that I thought was pretty funny. Now the lecture strictly explained these are NOT for those relationships that are close and those you wish to have a close tie with. Just for those people that really are toxic criticizers/sarcasticly biting. These kind of abruptly end the discourse
1. Please breathe the other way. You’re bleaching my hair.
2. Don’t you need a license to be so mean?
3. Could I sell you a ticket to some place?
4. Your voice is a bit too loud for in door use.
5. You’re the type that would throw a beer party and lock the bathroom.
6. I hope a pregnant elephant sits on your car keys
7. Give me a minute. I’m trying to find a way to ignore you.
8. Have I ever told you that the wart on your face is your best feature?
9. Don’t feel bad, a lot of people have no talent.
10. You have a mind like a steel trap, always closed.
11. Have you considered opening a branch mouth.
12. I couldn’t warm up to you if we were cremated together.
13. Do you believe in hate at first sight?
14. Don’t worry about being replaced by an automation. They haven’t invented a machine that does nothing yet.
15. I heard you were arrested for mooning yesterday, but they had to release you when they found out it was your face.
16. I don’t know what makes you so obnoxious, but whatever it is it’s working.
17. If you were your parents only child, I don’t think you would be their favorite.
18. If I throw you a stick will you leave?
19. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
20. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
21. Back off, you’re standing in my aura.
22. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
23. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?
24. Is it time for your medication or mine?
25. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
These are borrowed mostly from Bill Dana, famous for his José Jimenez alter ego.
Listening to.…
Holly Brook: Saturdays
Sarah: Ordinary miracles
Fat Boy Slim: The Joker, Magic Carpet Ride, Weapon of Choice. (Kitchen Cleaning JAMS)
When Harry Met Sally (Soundtrack)
Playing.….
Nintendo Wii
Reading…..
The Dangerous book of Boys (or something like that)
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Anticipating..…
Transformers, Harry Potter(7th), Harry Potter the movie,
Contemplating Purchasing…
BabyHawk Mei Tai (Go ahead, google it I dare you)
The six pouches that hold all your different chargers and cords in a safe uncluttered manner(will add pics and review of product if I purchase
This morning I showered before the kids got up. This is usually the begining of a good day usually for me. I got dressed in kaki pants together with a cute dark brown shirt. I started my day with getting the kids all cleaned up and ready for some good breakfast. Then I started doing some Yoga. As I was in downward facing dog. I see through my legs my son. 3 1/2 years old. Holding something behind his back. I see a corner of what he had and proceeded to breathe.
Hear him say, "Gottcha!!" and he stamps his hands on my back. I don’t really think of anything of it. My Band walks through the door and kind of kicks up a ruckus. The kids love him and all started running towards the door. Then I hear Thing 1 start to laugh as he tells his father how he put "ahhh cream" on mommy.
I look down at a small white hand and I make a silent bee line for the room of Thing 1. I am gripping firmly, a screaming child, by the forearm. We call this portion of the day …. consequence. I have hand prints all over my backside. Including on the kaki pants. -Sigh- more laundry. 45 minutes until he goes to pre-school.
Breakfast is eaten and the shuffle of shoes and carseats begins. 15 minutes until 9am school. Phone rings and I realize I scheduled the plumber to come and look at the sink.
I put the appointment off until tomorrow morning. Just so I can forget again he’ll be comming.
Loading children into car. Threatening Thing 1 within and inch of his life that if he unbuckles himself or his sister he will die an unfortunately slow death. Get the big kids into the car. Load up small one. Then in order to see out the windshield I must clear all the hard water marks of the inside of said windshield. How do I have hard watermarks on the inside of my car. That would be the car parked with the windows unrolled too close to the sprinklers. It wasn’t the first sprinkling either.
Windex and papertowels back inside. Put baby in the car. Start driving to preschool and look down and see that the time is now….. 9:24am.
Driving home to enjoy 1 1/2 hours of breathing, a bit of chapter reviews for school, Spirit Stallion of the Cimeron, and breastfeeding. Baby sleeps.
Pick up Thing 1 and put Thing 2 in her bed. Put Thing 1 in his bed. Listen as I clear things from breakfast to Thing 1 jump into Thing 2’s crib. "Giggle, Giggle" and "shuuuuushhhh". Enter Thing2’s room and tell Thing 1 he has five minutes to try and sleep then he is going into his own bed.
Thing 1 wants to use the restroom and always has to do such business with the door closed. FINE. Put Thing 1 on pot. Tuck in and close door to Thing 2’s room. Start the march to gather my pen and paper for grocery list. Find pen & pencil. Realize the bathroom is tooo quiet.
Open door and find Thing1 covered head to toe and all things surrounding himself in Fabreeze air freshener. Over powering smell of the bathroom hits me as I walk in. Remove the teashirt soaked in smelly lavender-something-or-other. Throw child into the bath. start the rinse process with cold water. This portion of the day…..revenge. Put him to bed.
I now have a moment to regroup. Here is just the off the top of my head things this kid has been getting into lately.
1. bottle of sweetner floor of the kitchen.
2. hands face and arms painted in Nutella.
3. Body butter.
4. All types of bum cleaning agents… ie. toilet paper & wipes.
5. Yogurt painted all over the surface of the dining table.
So I think I am having a lapse in memory. I could be mistaken but I swear he didn’t ever get into stuff this bad. The two phase was a walk in the park compared to this.
My brain is swimming with great advice.
"You have a choice. Every stage has it’s annoying parts. You can either love them through it or not. I notice that when I love them through it the phase passes quicker."
"This is just going to be so fun to look back on."
"Take pictures!"
These days silence is not my friend. When they are quiet they are generally into trouble. Thank goodness for long naptimes!
The other day, yesterday to be exact, I saw a spider in it’s web. My little girl was yelling "Get it! Get it!" Now we usually just put them outside. But I didn’t have the heart to take down it’s cozy little home. It had settled in already. Spent time "unpacking" so it seemed. I didn’t have the urge to squwish or mangle it. I just thought it tried so hard to do one simple thing.
Survive.
I am pretty sure the metephor for me is clear. I am doing the samething on a daily basis. Just trying to survive. When you face the demons that are hiding (sometimes literallly) in your closet you tend to be a wee bit more sensitive. That is what has been going on lately. I am trying to get a handle on the small stuff first.
So what is going on?? So glad you asked….
The Band is finding out where he is going to transfer to finish up his Bacholor’s degree.(Wednesday)
I am starting a full load of online classes. One with the title "Coping with difficult people".(Tuesday)
I just ordered a new laptop.(Should arrive Tuesday/Wednesday)
I would like to start selling things on Ebay. Just don’t have all the guts it takes to start, yet.
We need a newer bigger vehicle. (I am finding myself looking in the rearview mirror at the three carseats side by side in our compact car. Simutaniously, praying over and over "please leave his eyes kids, please leave him his eyes")
The plate maybe full just with those, but no….one of the quirks (demons), I tend to fight, is putting too much on the flippin’ plate in the first place. So I can migrate to my comfort spot- crisis management mode-. I accomplish more, feel the rush, and live my dreams when I am stress to the max mode. Only the dreams I dream are slow developing, endurance requiring, one-baby step-at-a-time dreams.
My new found love is a show called "Rob and Big" on MTV. I am not supporting the wide variety of horrific programing that channel has to offer, but that paticular show has had me in stitches lately.
Last night I watched On-Demand the episode about the trip to the video game makers. Rob visited his family. They were fishing. He said something to the effect that his entire life is based upon the principle of instant gratification and that fishing sucked for him. I giggled, out loud only because I related so well to that comment. My dreams are fishing dreams and my functioning brain works in "got to have it now".
This is why I dearly love being a parent of 3 three and under. I know if I had it to do all over again I would still choose this path over and over. They are constantly going. Constantly doing, creating, and growing. That is the thrill of the game of "stay at home adventurer" or the instant gratification part. Letting go, for me, of the stigmas of "normal", "perfect", and "ideal" this is the difficult part. The part I am finding takes time, requires effort,and is not fast to change.
I love a challenge. Like school, it has provided a challenge for me for over a decade now:) So modifying the approach to the dreams is going to have take place. To dream big, I need to plan big. One chunk at a time. Not to big. Not, too small. Just right…. ahhh.
So Rob thanks for the insight, and Little spider in my house… WEB ON!
Yesterday our small town was wracked with fear when the local psycho decided to call in a threat and be like everyone else’s small town psycho and lock down our schools. My Band works in the High School. I am home watching the news and praying that suspects were just bluffing. That no one would really get injured. I loathe the chain reaction of the "copy cat" stupidity that has infected our country the past week. I am understanding why Shakesphere had such distain for the masses. The masses being the followers, the blind and stupid people that get caught up in a whirlwind of evil and don’t use their God given brains.
Wow, I guess I have an opinion about that
. Yesterday I found myself thinking about not going to crowded places for fear of this guy just trying to "take out as many people" as he could. Then I realized that thought never had passed through my mind before. Not even in 2001 after the horrific bombings. I then took pause and realized there are people in other parts of the world who don’t live through a day without thinking about where they are going, and if it will be a target that day.
Calm has been restored to my town. There isn’t that underlining fear that was so palitiable yesterday.I am greatful my family wasn’t harmed. My heart breaks again for all those families whose loved ones were effected.
A few weeks back I had an experience with prayer that really stunned me. My entire adult life I had heard in church the stories of sisters pleading with their Heavenly Father for help and someone rings their doorbell or phone. I never really had a connection with these stories until it happened to me. I reallly have had some challenges in recovering. I am doing much better everyday but there was one day when the frustration of not being totally up to snuff and ready to get to work knocked me over. I was sitting on the edge of the bed and bawling when I remembered….. prayer.
I quickly and earnestly prayed that something would happen. I remember the request being something to the effect of "thou knowest I can’t do this, help me find a way to do it". As I ended my prayer I glanced up to see my husband all ready for work and kissing my forhead to leave.
The next thing I knew five or so minutes had past. The phone rang and my husband answered. He said a friend had called and she had all the stuff I was stressing taken care of.
I couldn’t believe how wonderful it is to know that I was not alone. I had not only a loving friend but a loving Heavenly Father to take care of me. Her timing was perfect. Her heart was ready to listen and act. I was so greatful for a belief system that includes a loving God. I became keenly aware that He knew me and my situation. In times comfort and times of need he knows me. I am his daughter.
I have found that spiritual moments in my life are like an EKG print out. There are some peaks and valleys, followed sometimes by some flatlines of mundaneness. The peaks are what makes my faith knowledge, and gets me through the valleys and leveling off. Since the baby has arrived the sensitivity to the spiritual things has heightened. Humiliation, frustration, struggle, trials in my life have been as salt to soup. They bring out the flavor of kindness, love, hope, faith, friendship, and family.
I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for the small peaks in my life. For the friends who listen to a nudge by the spirit to act. My prayers now are different. I plead that I can be sensitive enough to act.
The bunny, colored eggs, and the chocolate have been in season for sometime now. Lately, I have had some themes running through my head that seem to pop up in my life. Since Easter, for me, is a time of reflection on the atonement and what it means to me in my life I am continually finding these things pop up in my everyday life.
The first theme is the "positive attitude" theme. Comming out of the haze of pregnancy hormones has really helped with my own positiveness. I am realizing how much fear and anxiety plays apart of my everyday life. And, when I am hormonal how much more it plays into my moods and actions. I am really more balanced after I have the baby. I know I have more to deal with, but some how it all works itself out. Having three is getting easier and easier as we get back into a routine. Being able to bend over has really helped the house get cleaner quicker. It isn’t clean by any means but I am starting to be OK with a subdued mess.
A positive attitude I used to think was being unrealistic, or untruthful. I wanted to be real not living in the cotton candy world of the "positive" people. Now I realize how damning that idea has been for me and my attitude. When I say damning I mean progression haulting. I was stuck on the ground and my dreams were not launching from that ground.
Now a days I am comming to terms with the dreams that have not "come true". The dream of getting a 3.0 GPA in College. This one has been a huge one. I really tied my self identity into being a student. When I would fail a quiz, test, or an entire course I would find it tore at my self worth like nothing else could. No boyfriend dumping me ever hurt like taking anatomy for the third time. Comming to terms with my seventh year at being a senior in college. I have some work to do on improving my GPA so that graduation is even an option for me.
I knew and have known for awhile now that if I am to go back I am going to have to change my viewpoint. I needed to choose a different approach to school. I had to become ok with failing, or not preforming to my expectiations, or others’. I have to accept that my limitiations are not other people’s limitiations. That the scale that I was being placed on wasn’t measuring me it was measuring the AVERAGE. My idenitiy was seperate from the GPA I was earning in my course work. I findi it very difficult to be told how brilliant you are being placed in the accelerated courses in school because you did exceptionally well on an exam. Only to be taken out of those courses because you can’t keep up with the homework or reading assignments ect. It was like being given a wonderful gift box that everyone could enjoy but me. You see I couldn’t open it. I couldn’t get near it. Couldn’t even see it through the cloud of failure I have been used to seeing. I was just told by everyone around me that it was there and how awesome it would be, could be, should be.
Now I have the gift in my hands. I have started to unwrap it. What I am finding inside is new exciting and scarry all at the same time. It all started about two years ago. I chose something different. I told my self a new story. Not one of constant failure in one area of my life but of one struggle that would eventually end. One enormous mountain that would eventually be summitted.
This summer school is back in session.
I am pregnant and have many more angry days than I would normally allow myself.
On angry days I……
1. listen to music
2. put my kids to bed early
3. write in the angry journal
4. pout with my scowly face on.
5. take a nap.
6. clean aggressively ( usually am so greatful for an angry day, one day after angry day. I catch up on all my laundry, wash the floors, and finish all the household projects I don’t want to look at anymore)
7. eat yummy food (This could be sad if my metabolism changes from jack rabbit to walrus in the near future)
8. read
What things do you do on "angry" days?
This book was good and I loved how all the characters all played apart. I love that Percy liked that other girl in Ravenclaw.
There is so much going on inside my head today. What is the difference between today and any other day? You can hear all about it today. Usually I am trying to stuff down my total randomness and afraid people will find out how not all together I am. Today I am embrasing the randomness. I was diagnosed six years ago with Attention Deficit Disorder. I am the "inattentive" type. I have tried much of the time that I have been diagnosed either denying that anything is wrong, down playing the effects it has had on my life and hiding until I find out how I can pull all of the insane parts of my life together and feel "normal".
When I was breast feeding my Thing 2 I came across a book called ADHD in Women. That was almost a year and one month ago. I had a mini break down ( I can’t do full breakdowns I don’t have that kind of energy.) For three days I was devistated that there was a book that explained the totally inner workings of my life, my results, and struggles I had had up to that point. Someone had described all the frustrations of my life in one book.
So my next move was to search out a personal coach. I had read so much info and was doing a huge research paper on the topic of meds. and their effects on adults with ADHD. The research I had done was pointing me into the direction of counseling and someone to just kind of check in with. The lady who I found had ADHD herself and was diagnosed while doing her masters degree. She was 44. She talked about medication. That is a big bad word in my book. I had never really opened my heart and mind to the idea. I saw what meds did for one child in my afterschool program I taught. It glazed his little eyes over and he was just so "drugged". I didn’t want that for myself. I also came from a home that was very strick on the use of medicine for things. It was rare that I had a pill for the simplest of headaches. Meds were off my radar screen.
The more we talked the more she told me that meds might be the thing that cleared the fog. She said that with the challenges of running after two toddlers and trying to keep house there could be some benifit in the medication.
She was right. I tried a 12 dosage. The third week after my milk had dried up. I spent that day crying because of the difference to beable to concentrate was. It was no miracle drug for me. It just allowed the fuel and motivation to get things done I had never dreamed. Like clean my entire house, catch up on laundry, and take my kids to the park- all in one day. I was amazed at the harmony in my home because of the education about my mood disorder I was, and still am recieving.
I have found that my internal dialogue needed some work. Ok it needed a lot of work. I found myself being the confident young lady I had always put myself off as. It was and still continues to be an amazing transformation. I have been so blessed.
Lately, I have realized some of the influences that have shaped my education. I have had to rely much more heavily on the guiding hand of My Heavenly Father. I have had to change from being a criticism addict, to someone who finds good in others. I have found that it is not easy in a world that thrives each day on the devistating news that is in plentiful supply. I am finding as I try to be more positive there is a strong force out there that wants the negative to stay healthy and present. I know as I ask for the help I need I will recieve it. I will not allow devistating thoughts to stay and take up residency, taking up preciuos resorces that I need to give to my husband, my children, and to myself. Who helps me in my day to day struggle. The Holy Ghost. The comforter, He is there when I am willing to put myself in a place and mind frame to listen and do what he is guiding me to do. Our Heavenly Father has sent him as a gift to me to help me fight this fight. Now non-medicated I can see where the differences lie. It is clear to me that if I feel like one day not reading the scriptures, not praying for that help, I won’t be able to use my resources like He would have me use them. And thus I am not using the gift He has given. Then as result I am weakened, soft and easily stirred to anger, easily offended, impatient (with myself and with my kids), overall diagreeable.
I am so blessed with a patient and loving husband. I have been blessed with children who each day it is my privilage to be their mother. With each new thing they do I am able to stand by and watch them learn, grow, and progress. When focused on the blessings of my life I am finding it harder to whine, complain, and criticize others. (finding it hard and stopping are two different things- But I am working at it)
All and all, I am glad I have been given an "issue" to deal with. I am greatful for the lessons I am learning and the growing have to do because of it. I love that it almost forces me to lean on the arm of my Savior. To really ponder what he sacrificed, and how we can work out our own salvation with His help.
Ok I finished some books and really want to chat about them.
Book No. 1 The Messanger: By Louis Lowery,
Loved this book and read the two before it. All ready to read them again. I was shocked how much I got into these books. I don’t love sci-fi and I am not really one to get all exctied about young adult fiction.
Book No. 2 Mere Christianity:C.S. Lewis
Growing up in the LDS religion has been an awesome experience. Reading the "basics" as it were for Christianity has been a total eye opener. I have been so nieve about the differences between my own religion and those of other faiths. I am shocked how simualr and how different we really are.
Book No. 3. Vanity Fair
—- um not done yet. However the first thirteen chapter have got me hooked. I am finding the author pretty darn hilarious. Some people I have read struggled through the first parts I am looking forward to see what the middle chunk has in store for me.
Book No. 4 Isaiah: you know like in the Bible.
Yeah this is a thick and meaty thing for me to take on. I am pretty much loving the fact he is a literary genuis in his writing. I am going to admitt here that my reading of the old testiment is not what I would like it to be. I am repenting and diving into one of the most amazing books I think the Bible has.
Is anyone reading anything I should pick up?? My plea comes from not being enrolled in Fall classes this year. I am thinking it is best to not sign up for school until I have my normal brain back. Even with my normal brain I am only at half capacity captain! In other words, I am not ready for the "911 commission report" yet, but any other suggestions would be very much appreciated.
Two toddlers, Thing 1 and Thing 2
+ recently found heavenly desert on food network that includes Nutella = new game.
It’s called "Pooh or Chocolate".
My children have been having Nutella on their morning breakfast items lately (pancakes, waffles, french toast) and so I have had to play this new game more frequently than desired.
Over all the majority of times I do find it is chocolate. But there are those unmentionable (I guess I just mentioned them) instances where yes it is POOH. I have contemplated a photo to put with this post but, we are just going to leave it alone.
I have been out of the dating scene for sometime now. I don’t know if any of the rules I played by even account for anything anymore. But….
Ok I am gonna get straight to the point. I have a good friend who is dating someone and they are now getting a wee bit serious. He likes her and she likes him. Only she doesn’t find him attractive. She enjoys his personality, his status, his company. She doesn’t think he is very good looking.
So my question is where does attraction lie on the scale of attributes to have in a spouse or significant other. For the boys I know this is a 1-3 attribute. For women it is different. But how different??
For me it played a big part in who I dated and who I was just friends with, but I have to admit as I was younger the looks meant a lot to me. I dated guys who I thought were cute. I was treated the best by the ones that may not have made it onto the GQ frount cover, but when I met my husband I was really attracted to his physical features. That attraction was only added upon when I found out what a terrific guy he is.
Now my friend hasn’t dated a whole lot. She is still very young. She has seen a lot of hurt people who marry for looks and status alone. She has seen many broken hearts that need true help to heal after the wounds they suffer. So, maybe in her mind it is a noble thing to date and marry for the inside material. In my world I call it settling with a good excuse. One that justifies the possible reality, that it is nice when someone likes you, and at that exact point in time no one else is really giving you the time of day.
That is my harsh, however truthful judgement of the situation. It is flawed because I care about my friend and yes I think she deserves the best. I am trying to keep an open mind that he could be her "best" for her. And, I would be ok if she were to say they were engaged. But does attraction play a role anymore for the gals out there? Should it be considered an important attribute? Ultimately it is her decision. "I do", or "I do not" will be comming out of her mouth not mine again. I just hope I can stomach it when it does or doesn’t happen.
Officially ready. Ready to look and absorb new books and reread scripture all about the Savior’s life. I think during my life I have studied in one way or another about the The Christ. This next couple of months I am dedicating my reading to the life of the Savior. I will read some books and reread scripture that has been written about the life of the Savior. I love good stories, well written fiction, but I am ready for some heavier stuff.
From July-September I am gonna do some searching about the King of All Kings. I hope to understand better what His life was all about, along with the prophecies, and parables he gave.
I am going to take a break from writing for a while. I have some projects that need my attention this summer and I love this blog as a distraction. I am going to step away from the laptop for awhile.
No this doesn’t mean that I am done visiting and commenting on other bloggys.
Warning: I have never been very good at pulling myself away from writing of any sort. In other words I could just be back this afternoon, but I do need down time from blog world. So ttfn. See Ya. Knock yourself out reading the archives, and the previous blog.
www.shutupnoway.blogspot.com
I am taking a summer vacation.
The things I love about being MOM
1. Watching the kids learn new things everyday.
2. Introducing them to new foods.
3. Snuggles before bed.
4. Reading books.
5. Smiles in the morning
6. After bath smell.
7. Soft baby skin.
8. Helping them learn to walk.
9. Messy little faces.
10. Little fingerprints.
11. Baby food.
12. Playing on the swings.
13. All night scrapbooking nights.
14. Pictures ,pictures, and more pictures…..
TheScrapbookingCricut.com