Novel on the blog…..Part 3

June 26, 2008 – 5:38 am

    Another flash of images came to the horizon. This time I was in the kitchen. Waiting for Lilah to finish the pancakes so I could roll  them with yogurt and whip cream inside and hand them to the crew. All around me were little faces looking up at me waiting. Casie was just eight and wanted to help with the loading so it would go faster.

    She and I were the most alike. Quiet with little to say on a good day. Just thinking non-stop thinking. You could tell when you asked her a simple question by the tiniest squint to her eyes that she diliberated over every word so carefully.

    The air was heated with tension that morning. I can remember staring at the spoon in my hand for too long before Casie put it into the yogurt for me like I was the child. Lilah and Benny had been up all night after he had come home early from work. The amazing company he was working for had just cut his entire department in one solid swipe of pink slips. Six years of security and stability just packed up and left overnight. He was devistated, and like all eternal optimists eager to get back into what he loved doing. Accounting. 

    I suddenly recalled every second that ticked as Lilah picked up the phone.

    "Uhuh. I am his wife."

    I watched the phone drop from her hand in slow motion. Each momemt from there was slow motion. Like being caught in molasses. She slumped into a heap and shook will pain. Someone slowly dimmed the lights like in a movie theatre right before the movie starts. Only there was no anticipation just dimming.

   Weeks, and months passed.
 


Novel on the blog continues……

June 8, 2008 – 9:03 am

 I was glad to have a momment, well soon to be many moments on my own. No one nagging, swearing, and struggling.

    The road is a lovely compainion when that is the last thing you want. Here I am free to listen to the hum of the desert, and the lurch of the gears shifting in the automatic transmission. I can see myself driving with my arm rested out the driver side window where the sun has already created a line on my forearm. I look down to see the small scratch I still had from holding "the dogger". Lialah’s third child. A scrappy little 10 month old baby with a set of fingernails that had a razor’s bite. I still couldn’t believe how hard things had been for him and how he beamed that smile every minute he was awake. How did that type of resiliance exist in such a beat down innocent creature?

   As I looked across the steering wheel and the images started to play out on a light orange sunset canvas. The memories were still so strong they stung a bit recalling them.      

  "You want some more? Hey Kessy! Hey Hey! Kessy? You want some more?" a small voice said as I kept my eyes closed comming out of the afternoon nap haze. My eyes finally finding a freckeled face four inches from my own. Pig tails and ears were all I could see.

    "More….. of what?" was what I managed to express in an exhale. I saw Squeaks holding a skittle between her index and thumb, aiming it towards my mouth. As I immerged from the haze, the slight stretch of my left nostil told me exactly where she had stashed the previous skittle.   
 


Novel on the blog. Chapter One (Well not all of ONE).

December 7, 2007 – 8:06 pm

    I could see my breath on the air as my mind fuzzed. The car I slumped in wasn’t mine. In fact Lilah hated her station wagon ironically called "Celebrity". I turned the key without the slightest regret of stealing it. But that was all I had as far as get away plans go. She would never miss it. There wasn’t a day that went by that Lilah didn’t pray for this thing to be stolen anyway. I said I would be gone for a couple of days to visit friends in Virgina. The worn veleteen seat still smelt of McDonalds from earlier this morning.

    I wish there were something I could have said to Dane as he ended our week long relationship. The only thing that kept popping up in my mind was a resounding thank you. I was too young to deal with the waves of emotion he seemed to display. I was glad it was over. All that japanese food was making me gag. He thought it was so awesome to eat it for every consievable meal. What kind of a name is Dane anyways?