Tripping Over Cobblestone

Today….

    This morning I showered before the kids got up. This is usually the begining of a good day usually for me. I got dressed in kaki pants together with a cute dark brown shirt. I started my day with getting the kids all cleaned up and ready for some good breakfast. Then I started doing some Yoga. As I was in downward facing dog. I see through my legs my son. 3 1/2 years old. Holding something behind his back. I see a corner of what he had and proceeded to breathe.

    Hear him say, "Gottcha!!" and he stamps his hands on my back. I don’t really think of anything of it. My Band walks through the door and kind of kicks up a ruckus. The kids love him and all started running towards the door. Then I hear Thing 1 start to laugh as he tells his father how he put "ahhh cream" on mommy.

   I look down at a small white hand and I make a silent bee line for the room of Thing 1. I am gripping firmly, a screaming child, by the forearm. We call this portion of the day …. consequence. I have hand prints all over my backside. Including on the kaki pants. -Sigh- more laundry. 45 minutes until he goes to pre-school.

   Breakfast is eaten and the shuffle of shoes and carseats begins. 15 minutes until 9am school. Phone rings and I realize I scheduled the plumber to come and look at the sink. 

     I put the appointment off until tomorrow morning. Just so I can forget again he’ll be comming.

     Loading children into car. Threatening Thing 1 within and inch of his life that if he unbuckles himself or his sister he will die an unfortunately slow death. Get the big kids into the car. Load up small one. Then in order to see out the windshield I must clear all the hard water marks of the inside of said windshield. How do I have hard watermarks on the inside of my car. That would be the car parked with the windows unrolled too close to the sprinklers. It wasn’t the first sprinkling either.

   Windex and papertowels back inside. Put baby in the car. Start driving to preschool and look down and see that the time is now….. 9:24am.

   Driving home to enjoy 1 1/2 hours of breathing, a bit of chapter reviews for school, Spirit Stallion of the Cimeron, and breastfeeding. Baby sleeps.

   Pick up Thing 1 and put Thing 2 in her bed. Put Thing 1 in his bed. Listen as I clear things from breakfast to Thing 1 jump into Thing 2’s crib. "Giggle, Giggle" and "shuuuuushhhh". Enter Thing2’s room and tell Thing 1 he has five minutes to try and sleep then he is going into his own bed.

   Thing 1 wants to use the restroom and always has to do such business with the door closed. FINE. Put Thing 1 on pot. Tuck in and close door to Thing 2’s room. Start the march to gather my pen and paper for grocery list. Find pen & pencil. Realize the bathroom is tooo quiet.

   Open door and find Thing1 covered head to toe and all things surrounding himself in Fabreeze air freshener. Over powering smell of the bathroom hits me as I walk in. Remove the teashirt soaked in smelly lavender-something-or-other. Throw child into the bath. start the rinse process with cold water. This portion of the day…..revenge. Put him to bed.

   I now have a moment to regroup. Here is just the off the top of my head things this kid has been getting into lately.

1. bottle of sweetner floor of the kitchen.

2. hands face and arms painted in Nutella.

3. Body butter.

4. All types of bum cleaning agents… ie. toilet paper & wipes.

5. Yogurt painted all over the surface of the dining table.

     So I think I am having a lapse in memory. I could be mistaken but I swear he didn’t ever get into stuff this bad. The two phase was a walk in the park compared to this.

    My brain is swimming with great advice.

   "You have a choice. Every stage has it’s annoying parts. You can either love them through it or not. I notice that when I love them through it the phase passes quicker."

   "This is just going to be so fun to look back on."

   "Take pictures!"

    These days silence is not my friend. When they are quiet they are generally into trouble. Thank goodness for long naptimes!
 

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