I have been out of the dating scene for sometime now. I don’t know if any of the rules I played by even account for anything anymore. But….
Ok I am gonna get straight to the point. I have a good friend who is dating someone and they are now getting a wee bit serious. He likes her and she likes him. Only she doesn’t find him attractive. She enjoys his personality, his status, his company. She doesn’t think he is very good looking.
So my question is where does attraction lie on the scale of attributes to have in a spouse or significant other. For the boys I know this is a 1-3 attribute. For women it is different. But how different??
For me it played a big part in who I dated and who I was just friends with, but I have to admit as I was younger the looks meant a lot to me. I dated guys who I thought were cute. I was treated the best by the ones that may not have made it onto the GQ frount cover, but when I met my husband I was really attracted to his physical features. That attraction was only added upon when I found out what a terrific guy he is.
Now my friend hasn’t dated a whole lot. She is still very young. She has seen a lot of hurt people who marry for looks and status alone. She has seen many broken hearts that need true help to heal after the wounds they suffer. So, maybe in her mind it is a noble thing to date and marry for the inside material. In my world I call it settling with a good excuse. One that justifies the possible reality, that it is nice when someone likes you, and at that exact point in time no one else is really giving you the time of day.
That is my harsh, however truthful judgement of the situation. It is flawed because I care about my friend and yes I think she deserves the best. I am trying to keep an open mind that he could be her "best" for her. And, I would be ok if she were to say they were engaged. But does attraction play a role anymore for the gals out there? Should it be considered an important attribute? Ultimately it is her decision. "I do", or "I do not" will be comming out of her mouth not mine again. I just hope I can stomach it when it does or doesn’t happen.